17 octubre

ayer soñé que bishú escapó del apartamento y cuando regresó alguien le había dislocado la quijada y amputado la cola. la pobre criatura no entiende por qué no lo dejo en paz. no es que me caiga bien que mi mente me torture de noche, pero sí me ha ayudado a tener un poco más de perspectiva cuando despierto.

14 septiembre

i dreamt i broke bishu’s tail :(

septiembre 7

the dream started out in the first halo but it was my friends and my brother and sister throwing takis from bleachers at the covenant and then there were gargoyles.

i got bored of war so i was back at school wishing i were dead, so i left to go pee and wandered to my mom’s kitchen and sat on the floor and then this beautiful amount of golden warm sunlight came in through the windows and i was like, this is perfect to take a portrait. so i ran back to class, took my friend eric flores with me and sat him in my kitchen and posed him and took a shit ton of portraits.

agosto 26

i had the first dream and it was most exciting but i forgot it. dream 2 i was sitting at a bar and a guy came up to me and said, “you know what humans have in common with a rotisserie chicken?”


“they’re both edible.” he said.

i thought that was hilarious so i told it to the movers from dream 3

dream 3 movers were helping me move out of an apartment, and the apartment was old and full of shit from previous tenants. i found a door i hadn’t seen before and found an attic full of shit. it had pictures of previous tenants, a musician who studied at gottingen, a ceramicist, etc. they had children? there was also a small grand piano i played for a bit. it didn’t fit through the door so i had to leave it. i left a mixtape, my picture and some drawings in the attic and covered the door back up, and we drove away.

agosto 21

i was in downtown abbey, which i haven’t watched, and it seemed to have taken a turn for the supernatural where the rich people were trying not to get a supernatural disease the poor people had and also aliens. i turned to one of the cast members and was like i didn’t know this was sci-fi, did it just take a turn for the supernatural around the second or third season like riverdale?

agosto 20

i was at my grandparent’s church in the us, and this dude, who is gay, from my theology school. actually let’s take a minute to say a little prayer for his wife, who should not have to be a beard in 2020 amen. i snuck into the auditorium and started playing the piano and he told me to fuck off faggot, so i told him he knows he’d rather kiss me than his wife, so he started angry playing the piano at me, and it was very beautiful. my sister and i ditched the service to go get wings. it started to rain, and the whole of florissant flooded and swept the church away and we just ate wings in my car as it floated along the street.

agosto 19

i was a star who was supposed to come down to earth to warn people about the impending apocalypse. i took on human form and became a movie star to gain maximum exposure and when the time was up my star girlfriend was supposed to pick me up and save me from the end of the world, but i slept with a lot of people and when she came down i was making out with a dude in a movie theater so she called me a stupid piece of shit and left me to die. i fucked the dude and then went to my brother’s house to listen to willie nelson as the world exploded.

agosto ?

my paternal grandfather showed up looking like he always does—as he did embalmed. by the time he died he was skin and bones and bedsores. it was very difficult to watch him die, but he comes back to me to talk to me. i don’t remember what we talked about, just that there was a tornado and we were sitting with his wife’s birds while everyone else seemed to be moving to slowly considering the panic we should’ve all been in. i love talking to him. i want to believe his ghost cares for me, and i could use some guidance

<no date> [most fantastic dream i had as a kid]

i sang a cover of lady gaga’s “americano” and a mexican flag the size of a football field unfurled behind me

<no date> [most horrible dream i ever had as a kid]

i had joined a satanic cult because dad told me to, and the first thing i had to do was saw my sister’s limbs off because she had a sickness. i cried as i sawed and she smiled and laughed because she knew it was good for her.